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Realize that infatuation is not a reality-based feeling. If you felt infatuated by the person who has broken your heart and smashed it into little pieces, then here is a piece of advice:
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That person needs to develop their self-knowledge to avoid repeating that pattern and keeping relationship happiness elusive. The classic example is the women who is routinely attracted to emotional unavailable men. Understand the difference between a healthy and unhealthy attraction Click To Tweet This will inform your decisions in future. The better you can isolate the characteristics in others that you get strongly attracted to, the better you’re equipped to make choices about whether those attractions are healthy. They are undoubtedly related to our attachment styles, for instance. Our attractions can tell us many interesting things. Figure out what was so captivating/attractive about the person
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Learn your Enneagram type and how to use it for inner work. If you haven’t got any, then I would consider working on that. And falling out of love with someone happens a lot quicker when you turn your attentions to fulfilling projects and pastimes. Get a life, if you haven't already Click To Tweetįalling in love when you’re really busy is the real deal.
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Plus, a life that is full of friends, passion and fulfillment is a more attractive life for someone else – your future partner – to be a part of. Double check that you haven’t got too much time on your handsĮveryone is more susceptible to falling in love when they have too much time on their hands. The only way you’ll develop mastery over your attention, and therefore control the dial on your happiness and well-being, is through practicing mindfulness. But just don’t bother ruminating on the past or how great this person is or how perfect they are for you (if only they could just see it – etc.
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I am not saying that you should deny your feelings. When we’ve just been hurt and rejected, and especially if it was unexpected, it is difficult to avoid over analyzing a situation.īut it is very important that you place a limit on the mental bandwidth you give this. If you’re the creative kind, perhaps you can publish it on your blog or adapt it into a song and sell it. Pain has made very good love songs, not to mention viral articles and books. Write a long, detailed letter explaining exactly how and why they are making the worst decision of their life. If they were, there wouldn’t be any need to fall out of love with them. Because if a person rejects you, they aren’t interested in how you feel. I find this helpful in managing any urges I have to communicate how I feel. But rejection hurts, so don’t deny it either. The world hasn’t ended, we just got rejected. Process your feelings of loss, avoid denial and blame Click To Tweet Doing this will help you to sidestep some of the more tempting, but ultimately distracting emotions of denial and despair. To fall out of love with someone, initially permit yourself the hollowing sadness and disappointment you feel about the loss of their love. Allow yourself the indulgence of being hung up on them (for a while) Here are my top ten tips for falling out of love. In fact, I think I have it down to an art. Having fallen in and out of love countless times, I believe that falling out of love with someone is a skill that can be mastered by anyone, with a little dedication and patience. Unreciprocated feelings aren’t fun to deal with, obviously.